(no subject)

[adiva_calandia]

Okay. I need feedback.

Pandora: A Greek Play in Two Parts.

If you want to just read for fun, awesome -- I hope you enjoy it. :) I would love it, though, if you could take an extra minute or two and tell me:

~What you liked
~What you hated (or disliked, if you'd like to be charitable)
~What confused you

If you rave unconditionally about it, I will be pleased but suspicious. :P

Grazie!

Comments

[silveraspen]

Just to let you know have read in quick scan; will email more detailed commentary?

When is deadline for submission/revision?

[kornopolous.livejournal.com]

Same answer and quesiton as above.

I wanna digest it a bit, overall, great concept, fun idea, some bits are overkill, but not many

[newredshoes]

...oh my goodness, look what you did!

What they said above -- will definitely have more to say in the morning!

[the_croupier]

Couple of thoughts:

1) I like the premise very much. But tackling the birth of the Chorus AND Prometheus AND Pandora in two short acts seems like a lot (though I admit, I may be missing a thread here that binds them tight enough thematically to make them work). Chorus and Prometheus alone works for me because then the theme of creation and engaging with the world is more clear for a short play.

(Admittedly, not a very helpful observation for a play named 'Pandora.' Sorry about that.)

2) Some great lines here. I especially like, "You can’t protect an idea. You can only be protected from them," but there are others I could pick out as well. In particular, "You can't diminish it by taking from it. You can only spread it around," is intriguing. I suspect there are deeper ideas buried in that statement that you could unpack some more.

3) The speech of Epimethus, Prometheus and Pandora feels a little too casual for me. Perhaps this was an attempt to make them seem timeless(?), which I would totally agree with. But just a touch more formality in their speech might help get across the gravity of what it is they're doing--creating the world as we know it. And in Prometheus' case, risking the most grievous of punishments for the sake of the survival of his charges.

4) PLEASE DON'T TAKE ANY OF THE ABOVE AS HARSH. I liked this a lot. I'm just trying to offer what I hope is constructive feedback. =)