This entry should have humorous alt-text if you hover over it, but I don't know how.

[adiva_calandia]

GUYS GUYS GUYS RANDALL MUNROE IS GONNA BE AT CMU ON THE 9TH.

HOW COOL IS THAT.

I have to go see him.

---

So. A rant.

Yesterday and Tuesday night I was wearing my Halloween costume -- devil horns, contacts, eyeliner, shiny red shirt tied to accent boobs and waist, tail, knee-length denim skirt, red fishnets, two-inch strappy heels. I thought I looked pretty hot.

I was told no less than half a dozen times that I looked "cute." I think I got two "great"s in there, too. One of the "cute"s was from a girl who said, on hearing the phrase "red fishnets," said "[Boy] is gonna be all over you!" but on seeing the costume changed to "Cute!"

Red fishnets and I'm cute! What's it take, huh?

I am tired of being "cute."

Don't get me wrong -- I'm enough of an attention whore to like any compliment (I act for a reason) -- and "cute" is certainly a compliment. It's also a diminutive. "Cute" is small, young, innocent. In some contexts, I would go so far as to say it's the verbal equivalent of people I've known who felt free to pick me up and carry me around simply because they were big and I'm not -- it reinforces that I am, while not necessarily lesser, definitely littler.

Being five-foot-nothing, I will always, for the rest of my life, have to deal with the fact that the world is bigger than I am. I don't complain much about being so short, because it has its advantages -- riding in airplanes, for example, or getting cast as younger roles. But those are balanced by the fact that when I sit in most chairs, my toes are the only part of my feet that touch the floor (which can be incredibly uncomfortable after a while), and by the fact that it's hard to find pants that fit, and by the fact that crowds are hell because people can't see me.

And, above all, that there will always be some people who assume that because I'm short, I'm young and can't control others.

Which is why I do flaunt my black belt and practice roundhouse kicks while waiting for the elevator, and why I learned how to project and will happily yell over a group if need be. I can't be bigger, so I make myself sound bigger and look tougher.

There's also the fact that at 19, I'd like to be recognized as someone who knows about sex and, God forbid, might like the idea. I dealt with a label of "innocent" all the way through high school, because when everyone else talked about sex, I stayed quiet, laughed at all the jokes, didn't contribute. In mixed company, I stay quiet for fear of making others uncomfortable; male masturbation and penises are pretty commonly accepted topics of humor, but some people are still uncertain about the idea of, say, female masturbation, making sites like this necessary.

Rather than kill the humor by bringing up something weird like that, I stay quiet. I've been in one situation in life where I felt like I could talk as raunchily as I liked -- backstage of Midnight Soapscum: Porn! Because, well, if you can't loosen some inhibitions in a show like that, you can't anywhere.

Soapscum was also the only place I've ever been called "sexy" by someone whose opinion I believed on the subject. And he was drunk, so it still wasn't exactly a credible source.

I don't want to always be cute. I'd like to be an adult who can be something else.

Comments

[genarti]

Humorous hovertext: type [a title="la la la humor goes here"]words wot relate to the humor[/a], only with HTML brackets. Like so.

I don't really have much comment on the rest of it, except "Yeah. :-/", but... Yeah. :-/

As someone who doesn't get called "cute" all that much -- being 5'10"ish means I don't get that, though there've been times when I wouldn't have minded being able to pull it off -- I can't say "Yeah, I feel exactly the same!," but I get it, all the same.

Stupid labels. And stuff.

*made of coherence*

[adiva_calandia]

Okay, you're my favorite.

Heh. I'm sure it goes both ways, labelling-wise. I mean, if you don't get called cute when you want to be, that's just as frustrating.

And I know being tall has just as many disadvantages in just living in the world terms -- my best friends is near 6' tall and has trouble finding pants that fit; my sister's boyfriend is 6'6" and traveling is a nightmare for him.

[genarti]

...Now I'm going to be hovering over every word here, JUST IN CASE.

I know about hovertext because I used to use it as a sort of footnote in my LJ entries, which I copied from my friend acsumama; in those days, I'd bold the word to make it clear that hovering should happen.

Yeah. *grin* But, I mean, I'm not trying to go "Hey, my pain is just as valid! Wah you are ignoring me!" I like being tall, on the whole, despite the occasional fun with low-ceilinged cars and buying clothing. I just make grumpy faces at certain aspects of human cognition and societal conditioning.

I think you are sexy and badass! (This is actually true! Well, I think you are awesome and smart and badass, and from the few pictures I have seen I have no doubt at all that you can be damn sexy when you want to.)

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU.

I made the mistake of thinking that alt text should involve the use of (in images, obviously by this example) <img src="link" alt="text" />, and oddly enough it never quite worked right. :(

As I don't have an image handy to test it, do you happen to know if title tags can go in images as well as links?

[genarti]

They can, yeah. IIRC, you do it nested, just as if you were going to do an image that linked to a url. So [a title="la la la"][img src="http://whatever.jpg"][/a].

*tests this out*

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

Hey look, it appears to work!

And now we test doing it the other way:



*crosses fingers, hits "post"*

[nepheliad.livejournal.com]

People seem to always think I'm cute and innocent, too. I'm pretty sure that at least until last December or so – no, actually, I'm going to say until April, Beth thought of me as pretty innocent, too.

It must be some kind of epidemic striking small brunette girls with glasses, perhaps specifically those born in October of 1988. Further research may come up with more information.

[adiva_calandia]

some kind of epidemic striking small brunette girls with glasses

Honestly? I wouldn't be surprised. I've known a number of small brunette girls with glasses (ie, similar enough that we'd get mistaken for each other); I should conduct a poll.

[wakeupnew]

Man, I feel you, on everything stated here. I'm small, too, and never get called anything but 'cute,' no matter how much I've dolled myself up, with Halloween this year as a prime example. Being seen as young and innocent, not being able to see over crowds, not finding pants that fit -- yes. Let's start a support group! 'Girls who are small and may in fact, sometimes, be cute -- but could KICK YOUR ASS.'

[adiva_calandia]

Dude, your Halloween costume was certainly cute, but I'll go so far as to argue that it was cute in that "sexy schoolgirl" kinda way.

In a non-creepy tinycutesolidarity kind of way. :D

Hermia can be our mascot! "Though we be but little, we are fierce!"

[moondog.livejournal.com]

I'm no longer the 5'2" that I was in early high school (and even after I hit 5'7", I was the Short One -- I've noticed all my Alaska friends are waaaay taller than my Vermont friends) but having braces and a very young face means that I am still the "Cute One". Ellen's mother actually used to refer to me by that name. Luckily, I have a smashing figure and, if I try, I can definately flaunt the Sexy. But it still takes a bit of effort.

In high school and early college people thought that it was "wrong" when I would talk about sex, when I would curse, when I would discuss cadavers, when I would do anything that wasn't "cute" enough for them. Even now, I still get it sometimes - but only from people who don't know me and don't realize that I am a Bad Ass under the sweet, calm exterior. Ha, how little they know.

Just remember: people will either learn, or they will perish. The choice is up to them.

[adiva_calandia]

when I would curse, when I would discuss cadavers

Ugh. How annoying. Those are perfectly acceptable conversational gambits!

I, for one, welcome our tiny and formidable overlords! Since hopefully, I'll be one.

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

I'm 5'2" and get called "cute"... unless I stand next to my sister, who is a quarter of an inch short of five feet tall, has a flat chest and a sort of roundish and very young-looking face, and is going on twenty-four years old. So I feel a little of your pain, and my sister feels a lot more of it!

I wish we could all wave magic wands and alter other people's perceptions of us...

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

Also: Barnum, Tom Thumb and the marketing of cuteness.

[ashen_key]

See, I'm short (never reached 5'5, just like my mum never reached 5'), but I have large breasts. Stupidly large, to the extent that I really can't run as it HURTS.

So, I've never been called 'cute' once they grew, because although the curls might be cute, big breasts aren't, really. Of course, the curls are a problem in themselves - I always get compliments on them, never anything else. Occasionally, I feel like going 'hello? I AM MORE THAN MY HAIR, THANK YOU'.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

I hear you :( I mean, cute is nice in lots of ways. But it would be also nice if, just sometimes, sexy were any kind of option.

[mercuriazs.livejournal.com]

I ... see, I am with you on the cute thing, even though I am five five and am therefore pretty par for the course as far as height goes. But I have determined that it is virtually impossible for me to be perceived as slutty. Case in point: I dressed up as a PLAYBOY BUNNY and as I was walking out the door my father chuckled and went, "Haha, that's great! Have fun, honey!" That's MY FATHER. THE MAN WHO IS SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT MY SEXUAL CONDUCT.

But, eh. It has its upsides. Most people not thinking I'm a hobag, for example.

[jothra]

I think you're a hobag, if it helps.

[mercuriazs.livejournal.com]

Awww. <3333

[jothra]

I've often been the cute one! I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't go away easy. I'm twenty-three and people still think I'm sixteen.

People I don't know well get surprised when I'm not like I look. Don't let it get in your way, but don't act like you aren't who you are! I've done the acting way out there to avoid the 'cute' thing, and gotten the kind of attention I didn't want.

You'll get the sexy eventually, just by being awesome.

wise advice mode!

[ceph.livejournal.com]

[creaky old person voice]When I was your age [/creaky old person voice] I attempted to deal with this problem by hitting on any females who happened to be in my general vicinity, but mostly they just ruffled my hair and called me adorable. ::sigh::

However, despite that persistent label of "cute", there did turn out to be many people who did think I was attractive. I just never noticed until they (or someone else) hit me over the head with it, startling me greatly. I mean, it was months before I realized that B. was interested. I would be quite surprised if the same weren't true of you (being my clone-twin and all.) :)

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

... and then I got distracted watching every episode of that show! also: win.

I don't know what to say about the cute, though. :( except possibly get deadlier heels? if you can get used to six-inch stilettos, say, and then possibly get used to doing your karate in those spikes, then I bet people will be afraid to call you cute.

[adiva_calandia]

Isn't that show AWESOME?

Cripes, I'd be afraid of someone in six-inch stilettos regardless of their karate experience.

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

It absolutely is, yes. :D

Possibly four-inch heels is a good training height? Also easier to find those. And stuff. But yes! Tiny people in terrifying heels = cute, but deadly. Also sexy. Et cetera.