This entry should have humorous alt-text if you hover over it, but I don't know how.

[adiva_calandia]

GUYS GUYS GUYS RANDALL MUNROE IS GONNA BE AT CMU ON THE 9TH.

HOW COOL IS THAT.

I have to go see him.

---

So. A rant.

Yesterday and Tuesday night I was wearing my Halloween costume -- devil horns, contacts, eyeliner, shiny red shirt tied to accent boobs and waist, tail, knee-length denim skirt, red fishnets, two-inch strappy heels. I thought I looked pretty hot.

I was told no less than half a dozen times that I looked "cute." I think I got two "great"s in there, too. One of the "cute"s was from a girl who said, on hearing the phrase "red fishnets," said "[Boy] is gonna be all over you!" but on seeing the costume changed to "Cute!"

Red fishnets and I'm cute! What's it take, huh?

I am tired of being "cute."

Don't get me wrong -- I'm enough of an attention whore to like any compliment (I act for a reason) -- and "cute" is certainly a compliment. It's also a diminutive. "Cute" is small, young, innocent. In some contexts, I would go so far as to say it's the verbal equivalent of people I've known who felt free to pick me up and carry me around simply because they were big and I'm not -- it reinforces that I am, while not necessarily lesser, definitely littler.

Being five-foot-nothing, I will always, for the rest of my life, have to deal with the fact that the world is bigger than I am. I don't complain much about being so short, because it has its advantages -- riding in airplanes, for example, or getting cast as younger roles. But those are balanced by the fact that when I sit in most chairs, my toes are the only part of my feet that touch the floor (which can be incredibly uncomfortable after a while), and by the fact that it's hard to find pants that fit, and by the fact that crowds are hell because people can't see me.

And, above all, that there will always be some people who assume that because I'm short, I'm young and can't control others.

Which is why I do flaunt my black belt and practice roundhouse kicks while waiting for the elevator, and why I learned how to project and will happily yell over a group if need be. I can't be bigger, so I make myself sound bigger and look tougher.

There's also the fact that at 19, I'd like to be recognized as someone who knows about sex and, God forbid, might like the idea. I dealt with a label of "innocent" all the way through high school, because when everyone else talked about sex, I stayed quiet, laughed at all the jokes, didn't contribute. In mixed company, I stay quiet for fear of making others uncomfortable; male masturbation and penises are pretty commonly accepted topics of humor, but some people are still uncertain about the idea of, say, female masturbation, making sites like this necessary.

Rather than kill the humor by bringing up something weird like that, I stay quiet. I've been in one situation in life where I felt like I could talk as raunchily as I liked -- backstage of Midnight Soapscum: Porn! Because, well, if you can't loosen some inhibitions in a show like that, you can't anywhere.

Soapscum was also the only place I've ever been called "sexy" by someone whose opinion I believed on the subject. And he was drunk, so it still wasn't exactly a credible source.

I don't want to always be cute. I'd like to be an adult who can be something else.

Comments

[genarti]

Humorous hovertext: type [a title="la la la humor goes here"]words wot relate to the humor[/a], only with HTML brackets. Like so.

I don't really have much comment on the rest of it, except "Yeah. :-/", but... Yeah. :-/

As someone who doesn't get called "cute" all that much -- being 5'10"ish means I don't get that, though there've been times when I wouldn't have minded being able to pull it off -- I can't say "Yeah, I feel exactly the same!," but I get it, all the same.

Stupid labels. And stuff.

*made of coherence*

[nepheliad.livejournal.com]

People seem to always think I'm cute and innocent, too. I'm pretty sure that at least until last December or so – no, actually, I'm going to say until April, Beth thought of me as pretty innocent, too.

It must be some kind of epidemic striking small brunette girls with glasses, perhaps specifically those born in October of 1988. Further research may come up with more information.

[wakeupnew]

Man, I feel you, on everything stated here. I'm small, too, and never get called anything but 'cute,' no matter how much I've dolled myself up, with Halloween this year as a prime example. Being seen as young and innocent, not being able to see over crowds, not finding pants that fit -- yes. Let's start a support group! 'Girls who are small and may in fact, sometimes, be cute -- but could KICK YOUR ASS.'

[moondog.livejournal.com]

I'm no longer the 5'2" that I was in early high school (and even after I hit 5'7", I was the Short One -- I've noticed all my Alaska friends are waaaay taller than my Vermont friends) but having braces and a very young face means that I am still the "Cute One". Ellen's mother actually used to refer to me by that name. Luckily, I have a smashing figure and, if I try, I can definately flaunt the Sexy. But it still takes a bit of effort.

In high school and early college people thought that it was "wrong" when I would talk about sex, when I would curse, when I would discuss cadavers, when I would do anything that wasn't "cute" enough for them. Even now, I still get it sometimes - but only from people who don't know me and don't realize that I am a Bad Ass under the sweet, calm exterior. Ha, how little they know.

Just remember: people will either learn, or they will perish. The choice is up to them.

[rymenhild.livejournal.com]

I'm 5'2" and get called "cute"... unless I stand next to my sister, who is a quarter of an inch short of five feet tall, has a flat chest and a sort of roundish and very young-looking face, and is going on twenty-four years old. So I feel a little of your pain, and my sister feels a lot more of it!

I wish we could all wave magic wands and alter other people's perceptions of us...

[ashen_key]

See, I'm short (never reached 5'5, just like my mum never reached 5'), but I have large breasts. Stupidly large, to the extent that I really can't run as it HURTS.

So, I've never been called 'cute' once they grew, because although the curls might be cute, big breasts aren't, really. Of course, the curls are a problem in themselves - I always get compliments on them, never anything else. Occasionally, I feel like going 'hello? I AM MORE THAN MY HAIR, THANK YOU'.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

I hear you :( I mean, cute is nice in lots of ways. But it would be also nice if, just sometimes, sexy were any kind of option.

[mercuriazs.livejournal.com]

I ... see, I am with you on the cute thing, even though I am five five and am therefore pretty par for the course as far as height goes. But I have determined that it is virtually impossible for me to be perceived as slutty. Case in point: I dressed up as a PLAYBOY BUNNY and as I was walking out the door my father chuckled and went, "Haha, that's great! Have fun, honey!" That's MY FATHER. THE MAN WHO IS SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT MY SEXUAL CONDUCT.

But, eh. It has its upsides. Most people not thinking I'm a hobag, for example.

[jothra]

I've often been the cute one! I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't go away easy. I'm twenty-three and people still think I'm sixteen.

People I don't know well get surprised when I'm not like I look. Don't let it get in your way, but don't act like you aren't who you are! I've done the acting way out there to avoid the 'cute' thing, and gotten the kind of attention I didn't want.

You'll get the sexy eventually, just by being awesome.

wise advice mode!

[ceph.livejournal.com]

[creaky old person voice]When I was your age [/creaky old person voice] I attempted to deal with this problem by hitting on any females who happened to be in my general vicinity, but mostly they just ruffled my hair and called me adorable. ::sigh::

However, despite that persistent label of "cute", there did turn out to be many people who did think I was attractive. I just never noticed until they (or someone else) hit me over the head with it, startling me greatly. I mean, it was months before I realized that B. was interested. I would be quite surprised if the same weren't true of you (being my clone-twin and all.) :)

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

... and then I got distracted watching every episode of that show! also: win.

I don't know what to say about the cute, though. :( except possibly get deadlier heels? if you can get used to six-inch stilettos, say, and then possibly get used to doing your karate in those spikes, then I bet people will be afraid to call you cute.