(no subject)

Seriously, I don't know what's up with me lately. I think maybe I'm having an existential crisis. This is the second time in a few days that I've almost had to stop moving because I suddenly became aware of "the bit behind the eyes" (who am I stealing that phrase from? PTerry?), how utterly bizarre it is to be conscious, floating along and seeing things -- and even more than that, realizing that everyone I see is the same. We're all conscious, sentient beings, and we can't see ourselves except in fragments. We can only see each other.

And then I start thinking that because I'm an attention-whore who looks in every reflective surface she can a very visual person with a pretty clear image of myself (useful when acting), I can imagine how other people see me, and then it's all I can do to keep walking normally because suddenly I feel like a disconnected consciousness, viewing and being viewed at the same time.

It's extraordinarily disorienting.

It's kind of how I imagine River Tam must feel. That -- seeing out of your own eyes and seeing out everyone else's at the same time.

Anyway. It's very weird, and sort of cool and disturbing at the same time. I'm okay with it happening if I'm sitting down, but it happening when I'm in the middle of crossing a street is kind of inconvenient.

Ah, well. So if you hear that I get hit by a car, you can guess it was because I was struck by the incredible fragility and nonsense of being in the middle of jay-walking.

---

( Some commentary on Torchwood 2.04: Meat )

More late; class now.

(no subject)

Okay. After today's lecture on Carnival?

I'm doing Puca Project next year, dammit. I AM.

( On 'The Eyre Affair.' )

Speaking of Richard III, I am off shortly to see the Ian McKellan version. YAY, RICHARD III. All the lines that will never not make me shiver. "Thou art unfit for any place but hell!" "One place else, if you will hear me name it." "Some dungeon." "Your bedchamber."

AAAAH.

Right, okay, done now.