(no subject)

[adiva_calandia]

Still alive. Had a little bit of a breakdown Tuesday night, but I seem to have things under control again.

Last night I dreamt that I was assaulted by three guys, all much bigger than I am. It started with me making eye contact with one of them on the street and smiling, thinking I knew him. Wrong -- but he took it as an invitation to come up to me and wrap an arm around my shoulders, pulling me up tight against his side.

Now, part of the breakdown on Tuesday was that I desperately and truly wanted to hit someone and hurt them, or at least scream obscenities in their face. I'm not a violent person; wishing that hard and actively for someone to pester me so that I would have an excuse to attack them was a little scary.

So when my dreaming mind offered me an opportunity, you better believe I took it. I screamed at the guy holding me that "If you don't fucking let me go I will hit you so hard, I swear I'll hit you, step the fuck off." He let me go, laughing a little in a "Haha, isn't this little girl funny, getting so bitchy about me just being friendly, I'll indulge her and leave" kind of way.

Then a little later in the dream, he -- or possibly it was three of his friends -- showed up and started trying to wrestle me to the ground. I'm little; I can't wrestle three guys at once. But I fought back, hard, and I yelled for help because I knew my friends were just in the next room and they'd come help me. And someone did come save me, though I don't remember who exactly.

The dream ended just after a scene where I was sitting down with a friend of my attackers and trying to identify them with his help. He was very ruefully apologetic about their behavior.

I see this as a fairly easy dream to interpret, considering the last couple days. Part of it was the lingering desire for violence from Tuesday; part of it was definitely from watching Changeling last night. And the rest? Right now I'm juggling a lot of different commitments that are threatening to wrestle me to the ground -- but I can fight them off, and I can call for help from friends an expect to receive it.

It was a fairly disturbing dream -- I mean, yeah, obviously it would be, nobody wants to dream about being assaulted by three or four people -- but not exactly a nightmare. I can deal with scary dreams when they let me fight my way out of them.

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[lienne.livejournal.com]

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[rowanberries.livejournal.com]

D:

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