adiva_calandia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
adiva_calandia) wrote2007-11-01 01:31 pm
adiva_calandia) wrote2007-11-01 01:31 pm
Entry tags:
This entry should have humorous alt-text if you hover over it, but I don't know how.
GUYS GUYS GUYS RANDALL MUNROE IS GONNA BE AT CMU ON THE 9TH.
HOW COOL IS THAT.
I have to go see him.
So. A rant.
Yesterday and Tuesday night I was wearing my Halloween costume -- devil horns, contacts, eyeliner, shiny red shirt tied to accent boobs and waist, tail, knee-length denim skirt, red fishnets, two-inch strappy heels. I thought I looked pretty hot.
I was told no less than half a dozen times that I looked "cute." I think I got two "great"s in there, too. One of the "cute"s was from a girl who said, on hearing the phrase "red fishnets," said "[Boy] is gonna be all over you!" but on seeing the costume changed to "Cute!"
Red fishnets and I'm cute! What's it take, huh?
I am tired of being "cute."
Don't get me wrong -- I'm enough of an attention whore to like any compliment (I act for a reason) -- and "cute" is certainly a compliment. It's also a diminutive. "Cute" is small, young, innocent. In some contexts, I would go so far as to say it's the verbal equivalent of people I've known who felt free to pick me up and carry me around simply because they were big and I'm not -- it reinforces that I am, while not necessarily lesser, definitely littler.
Being five-foot-nothing, I will always, for the rest of my life, have to deal with the fact that the world is bigger than I am. I don't complain much about being so short, because it has its advantages -- riding in airplanes, for example, or getting cast as younger roles. But those are balanced by the fact that when I sit in most chairs, my toes are the only part of my feet that touch the floor (which can be incredibly uncomfortable after a while), and by the fact that it's hard to find pants that fit, and by the fact that crowds are hell because people can't see me.
And, above all, that there will always be some people who assume that because I'm short, I'm young and can't control others.
Which is why I do flaunt my black belt and practice roundhouse kicks while waiting for the elevator, and why I learned how to project and will happily yell over a group if need be. I can't be bigger, so I make myself sound bigger and look tougher.
There's also the fact that at 19, I'd like to be recognized as someone who knows about sex and, God forbid, might like the idea. I dealt with a label of "innocent" all the way through high school, because when everyone else talked about sex, I stayed quiet, laughed at all the jokes, didn't contribute. In mixed company, I stay quiet for fear of making others uncomfortable; male masturbation and penises are pretty commonly accepted topics of humor, but some people are still uncertain about the idea of, say, female masturbation, making sites like this necessary.
Rather than kill the humor by bringing up something weird like that, I stay quiet. I've been in one situation in life where I felt like I could talk as raunchily as I liked -- backstage of Midnight Soapscum: Porn! Because, well, if you can't loosen some inhibitions in a show like that, you can't anywhere.
Soapscum was also the only place I've ever been called "sexy" by someone whose opinion I believed on the subject. And he was drunk, so it still wasn't exactly a credible source.
I don't want to always be cute. I'd like to be an adult who can be something else.
HOW COOL IS THAT.
I have to go see him.
So. A rant.
Yesterday and Tuesday night I was wearing my Halloween costume -- devil horns, contacts, eyeliner, shiny red shirt tied to accent boobs and waist, tail, knee-length denim skirt, red fishnets, two-inch strappy heels. I thought I looked pretty hot.
I was told no less than half a dozen times that I looked "cute." I think I got two "great"s in there, too. One of the "cute"s was from a girl who said, on hearing the phrase "red fishnets," said "[Boy] is gonna be all over you!" but on seeing the costume changed to "Cute!"
Red fishnets and I'm cute! What's it take, huh?
I am tired of being "cute."
Don't get me wrong -- I'm enough of an attention whore to like any compliment (I act for a reason) -- and "cute" is certainly a compliment. It's also a diminutive. "Cute" is small, young, innocent. In some contexts, I would go so far as to say it's the verbal equivalent of people I've known who felt free to pick me up and carry me around simply because they were big and I'm not -- it reinforces that I am, while not necessarily lesser, definitely littler.
Being five-foot-nothing, I will always, for the rest of my life, have to deal with the fact that the world is bigger than I am. I don't complain much about being so short, because it has its advantages -- riding in airplanes, for example, or getting cast as younger roles. But those are balanced by the fact that when I sit in most chairs, my toes are the only part of my feet that touch the floor (which can be incredibly uncomfortable after a while), and by the fact that it's hard to find pants that fit, and by the fact that crowds are hell because people can't see me.
And, above all, that there will always be some people who assume that because I'm short, I'm young and can't control others.
Which is why I do flaunt my black belt and practice roundhouse kicks while waiting for the elevator, and why I learned how to project and will happily yell over a group if need be. I can't be bigger, so I make myself sound bigger and look tougher.
There's also the fact that at 19, I'd like to be recognized as someone who knows about sex and, God forbid, might like the idea. I dealt with a label of "innocent" all the way through high school, because when everyone else talked about sex, I stayed quiet, laughed at all the jokes, didn't contribute. In mixed company, I stay quiet for fear of making others uncomfortable; male masturbation and penises are pretty commonly accepted topics of humor, but some people are still uncertain about the idea of, say, female masturbation, making sites like this necessary.
Rather than kill the humor by bringing up something weird like that, I stay quiet. I've been in one situation in life where I felt like I could talk as raunchily as I liked -- backstage of Midnight Soapscum: Porn! Because, well, if you can't loosen some inhibitions in a show like that, you can't anywhere.
Soapscum was also the only place I've ever been called "sexy" by someone whose opinion I believed on the subject. And he was drunk, so it still wasn't exactly a credible source.
I don't want to always be cute. I'd like to be an adult who can be something else.
no subject
I don't really have much comment on the rest of it, except "Yeah. :-/", but... Yeah. :-/
As someone who doesn't get called "cute" all that much -- being 5'10"ish means I don't get that, though there've been times when I wouldn't have minded being able to pull it off -- I can't say "Yeah, I feel exactly the same!," but I get it, all the same.
Stupid labels. And stuff.
*made of coherence*
no subject
Heh. I'm sure it goes both ways, labelling-wise. I mean, if you don't get called cute when you want to be, that's just as frustrating.
And I know being tall has just as many disadvantages in just living in the world terms -- my best friends is near 6' tall and has trouble finding pants that fit; my sister's boyfriend is 6'6" and traveling is a nightmare for him.
no subject
I know about hovertext because I used to use it as a sort of footnote in my LJ entries, which I copied from my friend
Yeah. *grin* But, I mean, I'm not trying to go "Hey, my pain is just as valid! Wah you are ignoring me!" I like being tall, on the whole, despite the occasional fun with low-ceilinged cars and buying clothing. I just make grumpy faces at certain aspects of human cognition and societal conditioning.
I think you are sexy and badass! (This is actually true! Well, I think you are awesome and smart and badass, and from the few pictures I have seen I have no doubt at all that you can be damn sexy when you want to.)
no subject
I made the mistake of thinking that alt text should involve the use of (in images, obviously by this example) <img src="link" alt="text" />, and oddly enough it never quite worked right. :(
As I don't have an image handy to test it, do you happen to know if title tags can go in images as well as links?
no subject
*tests this out*
no subject
And now we test doing it the other way:
*crosses fingers, hits "post"*